Lost

Where is my Mother? I cannot see her

I keep her way down in the pit of my stomach

in the depths and the darkness that only she knew

the place where my secrets are hidden from view.

Like a baby in the ether before it is conceived

my Mother rests there, in space, a place of nothingness, no time, a place where only peace can be achieved.

What does she do there

are there any stories to share, does she think thoughts, laugh, cry or simply fly...

an eternity without a care!

Down in my flesh, under all the blood and brine, that's the place she stays, never changing, forever mine.

and as I regret and rot away, day by day by day

I nurture that darkness inside, whispering gently, "come out, come out to play"...

there are things I did not ask you, some things too ashamed to tell

all the while you loved me and I hid inside my shell.

Things are going missing, the picture of you and I last time

I scramble in my cave, squinting to see your light, staying still to listen for your sweet sweet chime.

Deep down in my flesh, in my emptiness and need

that is where you soothe me, you lay quietly, in anticipation and heed.

For it is I who is lost. Not you. You're free.

You call my name so softly, let it be, let it be... can you see me?

A millennium of looking

They look into each other's souls. Windows to portals, stories and stories unfold.

A touch, sparks something new, or something very old, that is yet to be told.

Did they meet before, a million lifetimes ago? 

Or have they been looking, seeking, holding on for millenniums, waiting to bestow-

The depth they have to love, and the tenderness in which they can gift.

Now is the time, they move, move, move... and shift.

One thousand years of peering into one thousand different souls.

Is this the One, or this, or this, who can fill up my open, broken holes?

But now they've met. It's been far too long. 

They take each other's heart, they sing the same song.

And then they cry, worn and torn from a journey of sorrow.

What will happen when this life is over, what will happen tomorrow?

Do they take each other into the life after this?

And when death comes...was that just their luck, a fluke, they missed.

So once more they look, the search starts over again-

When, when, when will this end?

Justifications

Did I just explain myself away, again? To you.

I envy you. You listen to me, feel pity, like I have no clue.

I care what you think, though I do not know you. I care about your judgments of me.

I seek, strive, try too hard. Like a game of hide and seek, in the darkness. I cannot see.

Where did I decide my voice was less than yours?

Or that you were everything and I, covered in flaws?

You reflect on my insecurities like it is something true.

Then I see it, a glimpse deep in your eye, you want to prove your worth to me, you fear me, you are justifying yourself too.

The Woman With Wings

She wants to run, to cry, to feel something new.

To get the magic back. Did she ever have it? Was there a clue?

To do something different. Taste the sweetness on her tongue.

A feeling of intensity. The feeling of being young.

It's being stuck that scares her. A prisoner in her own mind.

Staying the same, not choosing. Not seeking and nothing to find.

Shut it off. Put it out. Stop it from rising and bubbling over the surface.

What is bound to happen if she were to let it all go? To be the laughing stock of the entire circus?

And what if that were true and it felt to be the end of her?

She wants to run, to cry, to die? Let her choose and shed her fur.

In the night when she's all alone, that's where you'll catch the woman in flight.

A full grown creature, free, full of might.