Lost

Where is my Mother? I cannot see her

I keep her way down in the pit of my stomach

in the depths and the darkness that only she knew

the place where my secrets are hidden from view.

Like a baby in the ether before it is conceived

my Mother rests there, in space, a place of nothingness, no time, a place where only peace can be achieved.

What does she do there

are there any stories to share, does she think thoughts, laugh, cry or simply fly...

an eternity without a care!

Down in my flesh, under all the blood and brine, that's the place she stays, never changing, forever mine.

and as I regret and rot away, day by day by day

I nurture that darkness inside, whispering gently, "come out, come out to play"...

there are things I did not ask you, some things too ashamed to tell

all the while you loved me and I hid inside my shell.

Things are going missing, the picture of you and I last time

I scramble in my cave, squinting to see your light, staying still to listen for your sweet sweet chime.

Deep down in my flesh, in my emptiness and need

that is where you soothe me, you lay quietly, in anticipation and heed.

For it is I who is lost. Not you. You're free.

You call my name so softly, let it be, let it be... can you see me?